


Worth My Soul

by wayfindering



Series: Towards The Sun - The First Year [5]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Action, Angst, Emotions, First Kiss, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Loyalty, M/M, Multi, RikuRoku - Freeform, he really does deserve it though, i apologise to vanitas fans everywhere, rikurokuweek, rikurokuweek2019, roxas swears even more in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 13:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20436545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wayfindering/pseuds/wayfindering
Summary: The Unversed are back and Roxas and Riku are searching out the origin. Roxas thought a mission alone with his new boyfriend would be a little more fun than painful secrets, pointless arguments, and duels to the death.





	Worth My Soul

**Author's Note:**

> rikuroku week 2019 || day 4 prompt - loyalty

Roxas grumbled and muttered an assortment of obscenities to himself as he sat down at the helm of the gummiship. It was his turn to drive but that didn’t do much to dispel the fog of sleepiness. Coffee hadn’t done much, either. Sleep probably would have helped, but that was in short supply lately.

He ran his fingers through his messy hair and slumped, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. It wasn’t just the anxieties and the mounting dread, to be fair—he’d always been a bad morning person, and he’d always slept poorly out on missions. But the worry and doom were definitely not helping.

They weren’t any closer to figuring out where the Unversed were coming from this time or how to stop them. Every day was a seemingly endless tide of Unversed to fight, all of them hissing or screeching or moaning Roxas’s name in his head, right from the first he’d slain. Riku apparently didn’t hear it and Roxas was afraid to mention it more than once. Maybe he was going mad.

Maybe this vessel hadn’t turned into a proper body. Maybe something went wrong in the transfer and he was incomplete. Maybe he was a fake. How would he know, except his world slowly breaking down around him?

A few clanks and clangs sounded from behind him and Roxas shook his head. He didn’t need to get lost worrying now; that’s what sleepless nights were for. He stretched, pasted a casual if tired look on his face, and turned to watch Riku settle in the copilot’s seat.

“Ready?” Roxas managed.

“All sealed up and ready to go,” Riku affirmed, sounding nearly chipper. Morning people were the worst. Even the ones he loved.

There was still an unusual edge to Riku’s voice, though. It was so faint Roxas was still having trouble parsing it out, but he thought it fell somewhere between eager and terrified.

Roxas didn’t respond but Riku didn’t seem perturbed. He was pretty used to Roxas’s bouts of sullen silence in the mornings. If they had time, he was sure Riku would have let him sleep in. But there were worlds to save. Again.

After firing up the engine Roxas groggily summoned Oathkeeper in one hand and gestured loosely out the window of the bridge, trying not to yawn. Beams of light shot from the tip and slowly formed a portal out in the space beyond.

Four days. They’d been on this mission for four days. Why did it seem like it had been four years? Four weeks, at least.

Roxas hadn’t complained at first. A mission with his boyfriend—and _ boyfriend _ was still a word that rolled off his tongue with a satisfying lilt—sounded like a great plan, in spite of the encroaching darkness. But he was starting to think some down time to settle into a new normal would have been nice.

Maybe one date, ten days of infrequent texts, and four days of stress and noncommunication wasn’t the recipe for a happy relationship. Just maybe.

Riku whistled a low note of approval. “It’s like you aren’t even concentrating on that. How are you not a Master yet?”

Roxas found a smirk inside himself in spite of the early hour and decided to use it. “They don’t award the Mastery on strength alone, apparently. You actually have to show up for their dumb tests.”

He almost mentioned Sora but was glad he caught himself; Sora was always a bit of a mood-killing topic to bring up for anyone, but it had started to really affect Riku. Roxas wondered if that was part of the reason he was so out of it.

Riku chuckled. “Next time I’ll make sure you get there, even if I have to carry you.”

Dismissing his keyblade, Roxas turned back and stuck his tongue out at Riku before setting the gummiship in motion and switching on the autopilot. They lapsed into silence and Roxas stared out the front window, watching the colours swirl.

In spite of spending the entire first day of this mission coaxing, wheedling, threatening, pleading, and sulking, Roxas still hadn’t managed to get Riku to talk about his ten-day mission prior. All he knew so far was that Riku had proposed it himself and gone out alone, leaving his other duties. It hadn’t gone well and Riku had been called back for reassignment; he was a Master but he still deferred to Aqua and even Yen Sid, and took his duty seriously.

Roxas probably would have just stayed gone. Then again, Riku _ had _ turned around and immediately headed out on another mission. He even got them on a gummiship instead of daily patrols. He was up to something. And he wouldn’t tell Roxas. That stung.

He should probably say something; he’d given his boyfriend space but Riku didn’t seem likely to change course on his own. He didn’t have to bring up the previous mission, just whatever Riku was doing now—sneaking around after hours—and however Riku was feeling now, too. Namely, on edge, heart chaotic with mixed signals Roxas just couldn’t track.

Roxas scrubbed his hands over his face again. Yeah, that’s all. Easy. Maybe later. Right now they were a couple hours out from a new world and new Unversed and he needed a nap.

——

It wasn’t until later that night he finally got the chance. They’d carved out a safe clearing to make camp but it had taken hours. Hours of shearing their way through hoards of the tiny, spiky things, each of them a disturbing echo in his head, his own name called back to him, twisted and wrong.

Roxas was about to lose it when they finally called a halt for the night. He thought about telling Riku again, but remembered Riku wasn’t telling him things, either. That seemed more important for the moment.

This particular world was largely comprised of a forest, all green and flowery and new; the infestation of the Unversed was still recent enough that it hadn’t had much effect even though it was one of the worst yet in the worlds they’d visited. They were getting closer to something. Roxas could feel it.

Technically, it was possible to bunk inside the gummiship but nobody did that. Cots were nothing compared to sleeping under the sky. Or even in a tent.

Roxas sat on the ground against a tree, knees pulled up to his chin, tossing the occasional stick into the campfire that blazed and crackled in the silence between him and Riku.

There were occasional fireflies here and the cool night air practically hummed satisfaction from the stars down, heedless of the danger the Unversed posed. This must be a princess’s world; they were always something else.

A good environment for a confrontation, if Roxas could get over the way Riku’s silvery spikes fluttered in the light breeze, sending fire-cast shadows skittering across his face. Or the way his turquoise eyes sparkled a deeper jasper green, brows creased with intense concentration on the notebook in his hands.

He’d decided against moving closer to Riku. The space made a good shield, and a buffer against high emotions. Roxas checked his gummiphone to see if there were any updates or texts from any of his friends but he didn’t have that kind of luck. Right, then.

“So,” he said, trying to keep his tone lighter than his thoughts, “are you gonna tell me what’s wrong?”

Riku blinked and looked up sharply. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to do this yourself. Whatever it is you’re doing. You don’t have to skulk around after hours, lost in notes you won’t let me see, or get up early and take off who-knows-where. I’m not Aqua or Terra or anyone who would rat you out. I’m me,” Roxas said, picking up another stick and throwing it into the fire.

Riku blinked steadily at him, like he was trying and failing to come up with a good response, so Roxas continued.

“If you don’t wanna tell me what your last mission was about, fine. I can respect boundaries. But I’m here, now, on _ this _ one. I’m y—I’m your boyfriend. You can let me care about you.” Roxas tried to keep his voice lighter, sincere, but an edge was creeping in. “I can _ help _ with whatever it is you’re doing.”

“It’s nothing,” Riku said quietly, breaking eye contact. His voice was practically empty, emotionless. Rehearsed.

“Bullshit,” Roxas snapped. “Do you think I’m an idiot, Riku?”

Riku’s hand twitched slightly, like he was about to say something, but he sagged, staring into the fire. A harsh, discordant note finally pierced through the tangle of his heart: despair. He didn’t want to make Roxas unhappy. But he thought whatever he was hiding would make Roxas worse. Great.

Roxas wanted to shout. Throw some kind of fit. Yell at Riku to just talk to him already. Riku was supposed to trust him. Or at least trust himself. Was this just going to be a cycle with them?

But he couldn’t bring himself to, not with that note of pain grating against his soul. He didn’t know how to fix it, and anyway, he was too pissed off.

Taking a deep breath, he blinked and was surprised to feel wetness on his cheeks. And now he was _ crying. _ He clenched his fists. This wasn’t going anywhere. With sharp, staccato movements, Roxas stood up and pushed past the trees to his right where they’d pitched a tent up against the gummiship.

He didn’t look at Riku as he left, but he heard a soft sigh of relief as he stalked away. That, more than anything, cut right into him. Riku really did want him gone.

Once he was settled in his blanket nest in one corner of the tent, noticeably distinct from Riku’s sleeping bag now, Roxas flipped on his gummiphone.

Xion wasn’t answering texts—they were still on a mission of their own and probably getting sleep like someone responsible—but Lea was online. Thank the Light.

Roxas let Lea chatter about his day, mocking and complaining and exulting with such emphasis even over text. It was familiar and took his head out of tonight.

Maybe he’d ask Lea about the Unversed later. The creepy way they said his name had him on edge again now that he wasn’t caught up in his argument.

Roxas stopped himself from glancing up as Riku finally came in but couldn’t keep himself from watching out of the corner of his eye. Riku didn’t even hesitate by Roxas’s nest, didn’t react to the reordering of the room, just made straight for his own sleeping bag and settled in.

What was the point of being mad at someone if they didn’t even care? Roxas turned his focus back to the screen.

L: what about you, rox?

L: roxas?

L: your pretty boy steal you or 'dyou just fall asleep on me like a jerk?

R: we’re fighting. anyway it’s “pretty-boy” or you’re just complimenting him.

L: yeah? you kicking his ass? and who says i don’t want to compliment him?

R: no i mean we’re not talking at all.

L: mutual?

R: now it is.

L: ah. sorry, i don’t go back on a compliment, even for that. wanna talk about it?

R: not much to say. he’s hiding things and pushing me away. he’s serious about it too. i thought we were past this. either we’re not or it’s something big and both of those options suck.

L: what a jerk. that’s not how you have a boyfriend.

R: that’s not even how you have a friend and we should at least be that.

L: what are you gonna do about it? come home and switch out mission parters? take a break?

R: not until i find out what’s going on. i tried to push him and he shut down completely. i think it’s something important and i wanna know before i decide how long he’s gonna have to grovel.

L: lol you think you’re so tough, rox.

R: oh shut up, he at least owes me so if i spy on him we’ll be even.

L: good luck. give him hell and let me know if you need any help.

R: thanks, lea. love <3

Roxas said goodnight and checked Xion’s chat. Still nothing; they were definitely asleep. He flipped over to Riku’s. The two of them hadn’t chatted in a few days but that was normal while they were together in person. He scrolled through the texts Riku had sent on his previous mission. Depressingly few, all vague.

A few pleasantries, “how are things” and “hope you’re well” like they were acquaintances making awkward small talk. The last one read, “I’m coming home today” and Roxas’s heart clenched.

_ Home. _It was a precious, peculiar feeling. He’d felt it with Xion and Lea first, now Riku. He was starting to feel a hint of it for some of his other friends, even the Land of Departure itself. Where was Riku’s home?

Roxas was suddenly sure it wasn’t with him. He was important to Riku, but he wasn’t home. Riku’s home was Sora. He hadn’t learned how to feel home in anyone else yet. Roxas thought he stood a chance, someday, if this worked out. But right now…

Pieces clicked together in Roxas’s head and he felt like an absolute dunce. Sora. Of course. Riku was trying to find Sora.

But why hide it from Roxas? Did he think Roxas would be jealous? And that it would somehow be worse than getting pushed away? That didn’t make sense. He needed more information.

Soft snores sounded from Riku’s corner and with the way he’d been sleeping, Roxas was almost certain it would take more than quiet rustling to wake him up. Moving with the grace of an existence spent as a warrior, Roxas slipped out of his miniature blanket fort and across the cool floor of the tent.

He dug gingerly around in Riku’s bag and when his questing fingers found the right notebook he held it aloft, a dangerous grin devoid of amusement spreading across his face.

Anticipation made Roxas’s heart beat loud in the silent night. Hopefully only he could hear it. He set his gummiphone screen on and sat down, propping himself back against the wall of the tent to read.

The notebook was practically a journal. A journal of all the things Riku was keeping from Roxas. It was a lot.

It only took Roxas an hour to speed read through it, and by the end he was shaking. He tucked the notebook back in Riku’s bag and draped the flap exactly as he’d found it before retreating outside. He needed air.

Riku wanted to find Sora. Roxas had been right. But it was more than just the time Sora had been gone that was getting to him, more than just worry creeping up after so many months; Riku could feel Sora’s heart fading.

Roxas wished that was all, as he wandered aimlessly around their campsite, pacing as quietly as he could. The air was chilly but he didn’t care. His skin could deal with it.

Riku...Riku thought he was the only one with a heart connection strong enough to get to Sora through the darkness. None of them knew where Sora had gone, or where he'd ended up by now. Nobody had heard from him.

Riku had spent ten days retracing Sora’s last steps, looking up accounts of missing hearts, doing research on the Power of Waking. It sounded like if Riku went after Sora using only the Power of Waking—if he couldn’t find another way into that deep darkness Sora was walking now—it was likely he wouldn’t come back.

It would be a trade-off. Riku’s heart for Sora’s.

Roxas took a shuddering breath and huddled up under the tree from before, staring at the black coals through the darkness where the fire had burned away earlier.

Riku wasn’t convinced, apparently. He wasn’t even sure he could get the Power of Waking to slice through darkness like that. He still might need another opening. And he wasn’t convinced the rules of the trade-off applied in every case. He thought there was a good chance he’d make it back as well. Riku wasn’t trying to be reckless. But he _ was _desperate.

It was...understandable. Roxas _ understood _. He hated himself for it, but he did.

Riku had told Master Aqua it was a dead-end. That’s why he’d come back. To throw her off the trail. As for why he was keeping the entire mission from Roxas, that was easy. Roxas hadn’t been mentioned in any of the notes but he didn’t need to read them written down to understand Riku’s thoughts. Not this time.

The tangled, festering wreck that was Riku’s heart was as clear as day now. He thought Roxas wouldn’t let him go. He thought Roxas would try to make him stay, if he knew there was a chance he’d never come back. And unlike Aqua, he probably thought Roxas might actually have a chance at convincing him.

If not, it would certainly suck more. Riku would have to see Roxas hurting. He’d have to admit how much he was hurting, too. He’d have to endure Roxas begging Riku to take him along and then he’d have to think about both Sora _ and _ Roxas gone for good, lost to the darkness, and that was just too much.

Better to push Roxas away, better to see tears more petty and angry and superficial than ones that ripped apart his soul. Better to slip off one day and hope to come back before anyone hurt too badly at his absence.

And Roxas _ understood. _

Damn him, but he did. He balled his hands into fists and scrubbed at his eyes, forcing the tears to stop. He hurt, and he was horrified, and he was still pissed off. But he also might be able to _ help. _

He had no reason to stop Riku. It was like a knife to the chest, the thought that Riku might not come back. But it took all the air out of him to think that Sora was fading to begin with. Sora was important. Not just important to Riku, not just important to Roxas, but important to everyone—to all worlds.

Roxas would have to confront Riku in the morning. He’d have to get them past the fact that Roxas was a dirty spy, and past Riku’s dumb terror that Roxas would be the same tangle of pain that Riku was, and on to the part where they worked together.

Roxas sighed. Did he have to do _ everything _ around here?

His breath was falling more evenly now and although he was still in shock he thought he could sleep, at least for a few hours.

Groaning, he stood up and stretched tense muscles. His eyes stung in the cool air and his jaw hurt from clenching to hold in the shouts. He wanted to take out his anger on this undeserving forest. Definitely time to sleep.

Inside the tent, Riku hadn’t budged from where Roxas left him earlier. The long limbs hanging out from under the blanket, the silver hair falling into his face, leaving off only where full lashes lay flush against pale cheeks. Riku was beautiful. Something sad and sweet swept into Roxas’s chest, pushing a lump up into his throat and softening his eyes.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Roxas dragged an armful of his blankets back to Riku’s side. He gently shoved the backpack to the end of the bed and crawled into his makeshift nest.

He didn’t want to jostle his sleeping boyfriend too much, so he just stretched out a hand to rest tucked up against Riku’s arm. And, curled up toward him, fell asleep.

——

_ Roxas, _ the inhuman voice hissed, slippery and grating, _ I have a proposition: you meet me at the edge of the forest, face to face, and I won’t hurt your precious Riku. I’ll leave him alone. I’ll leave everyone alone. I’ll even leave Ventus alone. You see, you’re the only one I want, Roxy-kins. And I’ve got the right bait, now. I know you’ll come running. I don’t even have to say please. _

“What. The. _ Hell?!” _Roxas shouted, bringing Oblivion and Oathkeeper around to slash through the Unversed after it repeated the message a second time through without changing.

_ Roxxasss. _

That had been the last one in the group and he flung both his keyblades onto the ground, a scream tearing its way out of him.

He’d woken up to find Riku gone again, slipped from under him sometime in the early morning. That figured. He had half a speech prepared by the time he finished breakfast.

By noon, Roxas had gotten anxious. Riku’s bag was still at camp. He scouted out in a radius ran into a new swarm of Unversed, a new onslaught of his name sliding around through his head like a horror movie on repeat. He wondered if he’d ever stop hearing the sound.

But both worry and frustration flew out of him now, replaced by a cold dread, icy in his stomach, tinged red at the edges with rage.

What the hell did Vanitas want with Roxas over an hour’s journey away? Why—_ how _—had he taken Riku? What had that idiot been up to this morning that allowed himself to get caught unawares?

Roxas didn’t have time for questions; he didn’t have time to think twice. He called back his keyblades and took off at a dead run towards the edge of the forest.

It took him less than an hour to get there, bursting out into a clearing at the bottom of a low hill. It should be beautiful, rolling and green. It was pulsing with shadow now.

_ “Roxy!” _ A voice eerily similar to the one that had been echoing around Roxas’s head for days came from behind him.

“Vanitas!” he roared, spinning and taking a swipe at the creature. Helmeted and wrapped in pure darkness, Vanitas was probably intimidating to anyone who wasn’t Roxas in that moment.

“I’m so _ glad _ you came to play.”

Vanitas stayed hovering well out of Roxas’s reach. It was always odd to encounter a heart this blackened. It barely even existed.

“What do you _ want _ with me? Where’s Riku?”

Of all the days to be bad at magic and left without backup, Roxas thought this topped the list.

“First things first,” Vanitas chuckled and swooped down, striking at Roxas. “Let’s take some of that fight down a notch.”

Roxas blocked and shoved Vanitas back. “Answer me! What do you want?”

“I want _ you, _ Roxas. I want you to be mine.”

Vanitas snickered, shifted grip on his blade, and dove back in. Roxas barely had time to register his shock at the words before he fell into the dance of battle.

Minutes later, Roxas realised he wasn’t winning. He wasn’t losing, either, not yet, but he was pretty sure a draw wouldn’t fall in his favour. He couldn’t feel Riku’s heart anywhere and he was trying not to let fear distract him.

Vanitas backed off for a moment, and Roxas fell to his knees, trying to catch his breath, ready to summon in a blink if he was attacked. Why hadn’t Vanitas just kidnapped him instead of Riku? Why…

He was an idiot. A thrice-cursed moron. If he survived this, Lea would kill him. Riku might kill him, too. Xion would kill him _ twice. _

Vanitas never had Riku to begin with.

_ He even admitted it was bait. Stupid! _

He was supposed to catch things like this. Maybe that’s why he was doomed to not be a Master. Brash. Impulsive. Emotional. Stupid.

“Roxas!” The voice cut through his berating and relief poured into him. Riku. Roxas whipped his head up.

“You!” Vanitas shouted, his voice suddenly cloaked in loathing and rage.

Riku had just broken into the clearing now a couple hundred feet away, and Vanitas changed course, snarling and running at him, leaving Roxas on his knees.

“You’re supposed to be _ distracted,” _Vanitas growled.

“You’re supposed to be _ dead,” _Riku answered.

Roxas stumbled to his feet, not bested yet, and summoned Oblivion, leaning on it to help keep his balance. He had to help. Waves of Unversed were coming at him from the direction of the battle, slowing him down. Each one still said his name as it fell.

A tide of emotion washed over past and settled in the back of his head as he walked, each step getting heavier as he swung his keyblade. Feelings were out of sight, out of mind. He just had to get to Riku.

Vanitas was weakening, but not enough. He’d take out Riku, he’d try to own Roxas. What a creep. That felt like a weak thought, but all of Roxas’s thoughts felt weak. He couldn’t summon more than it took to keep pressing forward.

One step,

one Unversed,

_ Roxxaasss. _

Again.

The sounds of battle stopped, suddenly. Roxas looked up and blinked, clearing his vision. The Unversed had stopped attacking but they were hovering nearby. He was only a few yards away now. Vanitas was back to hovering, warily, probably waiting for Riku to cast some spell. He'd said something and Roxas hadn't caught the words.

“What did you say?” Riku demanded, gripping his keyblade tighter.

“I said,” Vanitas taunted. “I know where Sora is.”

Riku screamed, then, channeling his pain and disbelief into a rage-fueled attack Roxas had never seen. Fuck. He really shouldn’t get on Riku’s bad side.

Bringing Sora’s name into it just to mess with Riku’s head, make him lose control? That was a risky gamble. Riku might just be stronger now.

But apparently Vanitas had been waiting for this. A new swarm of powerful Unversed surged out from the forest, a tidal wave of destruction and pain. Riku was outmatched.

Roxas shook himself and sucked in a breath, forcing his legs into a run. Aquamarine eyes turned and caught his for a moment, relief drowned by other emotions.

“I’ve got Vanitas,” Roxas called and launched himself past Riku into the air before he even stopped for confirmation.

“Okay!” He heard behind him. Well, finally they were agreeing again.

Vanitas led him away from Riku as they dueled once more. Unsurprising. Backup was dangerous and Vanitas wasn’t an idiot.

Battle cries echoed around the shadowed, hilly field, though, and Roxas could still feel Riku’s acute anger, pain, burning in his heart even at this distance. He tried not to think about how much of that pain might be caused by him.

“All this, just for me?” Roxas shouted out loud, brain too tired to have thoughts that weren’t external. “Why? What am I to you?”

“If I can’t have Ven," Vanitas hissed between blows, "I’ll take his face as a consolation prize. You’re the easier catch, Roxy. Look how simple it was to get you here. Nothing but darling Riku in my way,” Vanitas mocked, voice cruel. “Soon you'll be mine. And I think, after awhile, you’ll even grow to like it with me.”

Roxas growled. “You are a sick freak,” he spat.

“Why, _ thank _ you, Roxy! Look how well we’re already getting on!”

Riku hadn’t worn Vanitas down enough, and Roxas was spent. Vanitas dove in to finish him and Roxas brought his keyblades up, catching the blow. He didn’t have the strength to push Vanitas back, but he wasn't down yet. Keyblades ground together, sparks flying, Roxas’s crossed in front of him, Vanitas’s bearing down between them.

Roxas almost swore he could see glinting gold eyes through the mask as it pushed just an inch closer. Suddenly, Vanitas shifted positions, still holding the locked keyblades one-handed. He hadn’t been giving Roxas his full strength—he still wasn’t. Fuck. Roxas clenched his teeth and threw everything into holding Vanitas back.

Vanitas flung his free hand out to the side and Roxas just barely caught what was happening through the tunnel vision that was creeping in as he exerted himself.

Riku was finally fighting his way to him. But Vanitas was calling something else into being.

A dark corridor. And the sudden sensation of a heart, pulsing radiant strength and light. _ Sora? _

_ “Sora?” _ Riku's desperate voice echoed his own thoughts.

Riku spun, heedless for a moment of the last Unversed still blocking his path to Roxas.

“Sora’s at the other end of that corridor,” Vanitas confirmed what they both already knew. “A free ride. A gesture of...goodwill.”

_ Sora… _

Roxas’s heart lifted and sank at the same time and sent him spiraling for a moment, emotionally caught off-balance.

Riku would go. Riku would go to Sora. He wouldn’t come for Roxas. But...but that was okay.

Riku could go to Sora! He would make it in time and find a way back out. To save the boy they all loved. It was _ okay. _

Time seemed at a standstill. Roxas held onto his keyblades, determined not to crumble. At least, not until Riku was gone. He couldn’t stand in the way of this.

Everything in him wanted the selfish out, wanted Riku to come save him. But for once, Roxas was going to take a page from his boyfriend’s book. He would be the sacrifice.

“Riku!” Roxas ground out, mustering his strength and a little surprised to find he still had a voice. “Riku, I know you can feel him. I read your journal. Don't be mad. I know what’s at stake and I understand.”

Riku still seemed frozen in time, staring at the corridor. Roxas gulped in air and stood his ground, slowly losing feeling in his feet. “I can take Vanitas alone,” he continued, voice cracking. “You know how strong I am.” He hoped Riku hadn’t realized how close Roxas was to passing out.

Vanitas snickered softly but didn't interrupt.

Riku’s keyblade wavered in the air. Roxas forced himself to keep breathing. “And even if I can’t, you and Sora can come get me.”

_ Assuming he hasn’t broken me by then. _Roxas hastily banished the thought. True or not, it didn’t serve him now.

“It’s okay, Riku. Go! Please!” Roxas bit out. His vision blurred but he held on. His senses dulled. He couldn’t feel any hearts. A black fog accompanied by nausea was welling up and threatening to pull him down into unconsciousness.

The rushing sound of the corridor vanished and he knew. Riku had gone.

Roxas broke then, crashing to his knees, not even feeling the impact. Vanitas swiped his keyblades aside; they fell from his numb, limp hands, clattering on the ground and dissipating. He braced himself.

The final blow never came.

Roxas blearily raised his head, trying to make sense of the fuzzy pictures his eyes were giving his brain. A dull thudding noise was all he could hear, now. His heartbeat?

Flickering gray. Black. Purple. Haze. Was time still passing?

Green. Turquoise-green. Sparkling…

Roxas closed his eyes.

“—s! Roxas! _ Please!” _ Riku sounded like he was breaking. Wasn’t that Roxas’s job today?

Roxas opened his eyes. Riku’s hands were on his shoulders, shaking him and holding him up at once. He was kneeling in front of Roxas, who hadn’t quite fallen over before Riku got to him. His eyes, streaming tears, locked on Roxas’s the second they opened. A choked sob, the world being yanked backward, and Roxas was in Riku’s arms.

Stillness settled over the battlefield. Either Vanitas was done in or he’d retreated. Roxas was still lightheaded and thoughts were slow to hit him. He couldn’t move his limbs but he leaned gratefully into Riku’s overly gentle embrace.

“—“ Roxas failed to get words out. Fuck his voice. Where was it?

Riku muttered a spell and sensation came back to Roxas in a rush, spreading from Riku's hands on his back outward. Everything _ hurt. _ It was almost better when he was numb.

“That’s all I can do for now,” Riku whispered. “I’m sorry; my magic’s not back yet. I’ll get you to camp.”

“Sora,” Roxas tried again, gritting his teeth through the pain. Why was Riku still here? He had to know.

“No,” Riku’s voice was low and cracked but sure in Roxas’s ear. “I can’t lose you, too, Roxas. I can’t lose you, _ ever. _”

Riku held Roxas out from him then. As the words clicked into place in his head, Roxas looked up into teal pools of tears and the last of the numbness like steel bars melted from around his heart. Roxas could feel Riku's heart, again, too, but not in time to anticipate—

Riku pressed his lips to Roxas's. It was salt and skin and tears but it was _ warm _ and _ soft _ and _ overflowing _and when Riku pulled away again, Roxas’s lips kept tingling.

_ Oh. _ It was nicer than he’d expected a kiss to be. Nicer than he’d ever expect a first kiss on a battlefield to be, especially.

A smile twitched at Roxas's lips, dancing with the ghost of the kiss, as Riku brought one hand up to cup his cheek. He was breathing heavier than Roxas had ever seen him, even in the middle of a race.

They were going to be okay. Truly. Roxas was kind of shocked. He finally got his hands working and lifted them up, clinging weakly to Riku’s arms. The sooner they got back to camp, the better. But he still had to know.

“But...Sora? How will we…?” Roxas started.

Riku’s eyes crinkled at the corners, his heart all bittersweet and soft for a moment before he answered.

“We’ll go together.”


End file.
